Times of Trouble

Nothing Bad Will Change

One half of the finale to all of the spork / zombie trouble stuff

Take heed, dear readers:

After last adventure, intrepid troubleshooting team DMM two-niner-niner are split up into two separate teams: DMM-299 and DMM-29D. This post details the adventures of DMM-29D, which consists of Kelly-O, Kelsey-R, Parker-R, Kadin-O, Terry-O, and Dahn-R.

Team DMM-29D is summoned from zombie Myron-B’s office back to the Complex Utensils factory. The factory no longer produces utensils, but is now outfitted with electric towers, tesla coils, and other machinery to convert people into zombies. There, Titus-U-RYW-4 explains that Sector CRS is the only true sector, and that all other sectors are “in rebellion against friend computer”. Sector CRS friend computer has declared that zombies are the way of the future and everyone in Alpha Complex will be converted – given that DMM-29D are friends of Titus-U, they will be given some leeway in exactly when that will happen to them. Kelsey and Parker decide at this time to get turned into Mark II zombies, leaving only Kadin, Terry, and new team member Dahn still human (and growing more and more concerned for the safety of their brains).

There also appears to be a problem with Kelly’s clones, as he is informed that he is on his twelfth clone, despite only having used six. Titus-U is growing him another one, but it won’t be ready for some time, so he warns Kelly to not die.

Titus-U then renames the team CRS-Z02, and promotes everyone to Green. Of course, this promotion is only effective within sector CRS, since the rest of Alpha Complex will still recognize the team by their previous designations. He reveals that he is working on a virus to infect friend computer in the rest of Alpha Complex so that the “true” zombie friend computer will be everywhere. Meanwhile, team CRS-Z02’s mission is to go to a hidden settlement “Incivility” in the undercity and bring back some brains. The zombies in Sector CRS are getting mighty hungry, and they aren’t done cloning more brains yet. He gives the team some energy pistols and flamethrowers, and sends them on their way.

Dahn also has a mission to test some robots, but … y’know, zombies.

After this, Titus-I-5 speaks to the team and gives them further directions. He wants to depose his brother Titus-U, so he asks the team to carry out Titus-U’s orders in the worst way possible – by bringing the people of Incivility back alive (instead of just their brains), and letting them loose on the streets. Pandemonium will certainly ensue, and in the confusion Titus-I will seize power and will reward the team with money and other perks.

The team departs for a secret transbot system that only the elite (green clearance and up) get to use. At the bottom of the elevator, the team’s old friend Yuri-G is waiting, apparently unaware of the situation in Sector CRS. Some of the less alive members of the team fix to eat his brains, but a Mexican standoff ensues when Kadin puts his gun to Kelly’s head. Yuri departs peacefully, and the team heads to the transbot station. They must avoid being seen getting on and off the train, since Sector CRS and its agents are traitors to the rest of Alpha Complex. On the platform, Kelly makes a straw man out of his bots (so the transbot stops), and the team hides in the station.

When the team tries to board a transbot, however, the occupants stop Kelly from bringing his bots on board. Apparently no bots are allowed on trains. Kelly starts a gunfight, provoking a crazy blue-clearance citizen with a bazooka to open fire. Kadin and Terry take cover while everyone in the train tries to take out the bazooka gunner. Parker and Kelsey argue about who gets to eat the brains of a passenger. People are running everywhere, and there is a mass exodus from the train. Kadin and Terry follow this crowd, and try to convince them all to help them turn on the zombified members of the team.

Back on the train, the team puts out the fires, repairs the damage as much as they can, gets the transbot running again and programs it to go to the next station (Sector BCW). The transbot limps to the next station, and then dies. At the next station, everyone suddenly has cell reception again, so Dahn (as the team’s medical officer) summons a doc bot to treat Kelly. The doc bot inspects Kelly, then injects him with medicines that, when reacting to his zombie physiology, cause him to go blind. The doc bot then tries to return Kelly to Sector DMM for treatment, which would cure him of zombification. Kelly, however, does not want to go. Dahn sneaks in and injects Kelly with a handful of drugs, which cause him to become happy, compliant, wide awake, bouncy, and eager. With Kelly locked down, Kadin shouts “Xerxes!” and he and Terry draw their weapons.

There follows a brief firefight on the train car. Kadin and Terry attack Kelsey as she tries to drag away the incapacitated Kelly. Parker, meanwhile, leaps at Kadin and does her best to bite off his face. Dahn calls friend computer and requests backup, at which point friend computer calls the nearest troubleshooter team in the area (DMM-29D) and orders them to help. Parker joins Kelsey and Kelly in the elevator, at which point Terry blasts them all with her flamethrower, killing Kelly and grievously wounding Kelsey. The whole mess ends with docbots treating everyone, restoring Kelsey and Parker to human form and curing Kadin. Kelly has used his only clone, and henceforth he was represented by his bots.

Kelsey makes the mistake of asking friend computer about zombies, and friend computer identifies them as Old Reckoning treason and orders Kelsey to be brainscrubbed – the team flees down the elevator to Incivility village. In the elevator, Kadin and Terry come up with anti-zombie propaganda, to try and head off any further zombie disasters – they don’t have a catchy jingle, since Parker isn’t really on board this time, but it’s something.

At the bottom of the elevator, the team finds a functioning nuclear reactor and a village full of mutants. Many of these people have facial hair, strange fatty bulges in weird places, some have tentacles coming out of their faces, and others are tiny clones that shouldn’t be out of their clone creche yet. It is all really quite weird. The village’s mayor Harker (who has four arms) explains that sometimes Alpha Complex sends mutants down here to live. He also mentions that the elevator should not have worked for the team, but apparently Dahn, Kadin, and Terry have nanites that allow them to use the elevator to reach Incivility. Terry warns the mayor about the zombies in Sector CRS and the mission that Team DMM-29D were originally sent on. Nobody seems all that concerned, though.

People in Incivility also eat natural food, a fact that becomes immediately apparent when the mayor orders dishes of roast rat brought out for the team to eat. Kelsey offers some of her supply of sporks, and the mayor is overjoyed at her gift. The team visits the market, which has many stone-age crafts for sale, as well as recharging services using the nuclear reactor’s output. The team take the opportunity to recharge their energy weapons in exchange for more sporks. Terry also spread anti-zombie propaganda.

While the team is shopping, Dahn gets a surprise call from Titus-I-RYW-6. Titus-I tells Dahn that the whole Easter thing was a lie – there were no chocolate ovoids. Titus-I says that his brothers must be destroyed, and offers the team 20,000 credits and promotion to blue clearance if they can pull it off. He also promises to get them guns and grenades. He is hiding out near the spork factory back in Sector CRS.

Walking down an access tube on their way back to Sector CRS, the team hears an earth-shattering explosion. It seems that while DMM-29D were faffing about and shooting at each other, their comrades in DMM-299 tricked some terrorists into detonating the nuclear reactor in Sector CRS, blowing it (and the entire zombie conspiracy) completely away.

The end.

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